Random #2.

Staring at my phone.. Hoping someone could text me and ask me how I am.
It's easy to say "I'm okay".. And add a smiley face.. :)
Sigh.. If only they knew..

:(

How could God let this happen to me?

I never thought I would ask this question.. For so long, I lived the almost perfect kind of life.When sorrows would only last for the night and joy came in the morning. Literally.

Hehe..

I never thought I'd feel this lonely.
Lol.. I'm finding a new hood in solitude.
I never thought I'd really feel this confused and lost for options.
What to do?
Who to talk to?
These among many other questions keep running through my mind..

They say happiness is a choice.
Is it really?
Because if it was, then I would press the happiness button, and everything around me would change..
Haha.. (insert sarcasm).. Truly, some things are easier uttered than put into practise.

Oh wait.. These are just circumstances.
Scratch that.
Let's just assume I didn't just sound so pessimistic for a moment there..

You probably won't feel me on this vibe.. Or better yet, you probably will.
(There is some sort of comfort and relief in knowing that you ain't alone)
You feel like you can't talk to anyone?
Because you are aware of what they are going through on the other end of the line and it's probably worse..? Or because to them it'll sound like every other random problem, and they will take you round and round, leaving you with no solution..?
I know!... Or because you are afraid to sound fussy and nagging..?
Sigh..
My veins could burst within my head right now..

I'm just too human to think like God..
Not now especially..

:(

All I know is..
For sure..

I just need some heaven.

Just chill right there..
There seems to be some sort of interruption.......
❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄

"My Child..
I can read your thoughts.

You know what?
I understand your every feeling.
And yes, sometimes I let these things happen to you so that you can learn.. Other times so that other people can witness my glory and power through you.
I have my reasons.
I have my ways.

Two things:
One:..... I have given you seven fruits of the Holy Spirit. One of them includes joy. You've got to keep in mind that the devil is not happy when things are going well for you. Listen. He is not after your finances, your family, your job, your studies.... he is after your Joy. Don't let him take it away. He feels completely defeated when he realises that he cannot take away your joy.

Two:... Be still and know that I am God. I know the plans I have for you and my promises are true. Would you please just let me be God? Be still..

I know you weren't really talking to me.
But I am everywhere.
And I care about you.

Let me wipe away your every tear.
My love will carry you.

~GOD.

❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄

Are you still reading?
I'm tempted to get back to my senses now..
He is quite brief, yet so clear.

I choose to listen to that still, small voice.

Earth is not our home.
Our home is being made ready for us.
And the time will come.

I'm still a Christian.. But I just figured how human I can be..

He is actually here with me..
What more do I need?

As Meredith puts it in song:

I searched for love when the night came and it closed in
I was alone, but You found me where I was hiding
And now I'll never ever be the same
It was the sweetest voice that called my name..

You cry yourself to sleep
Cause the hurt is real and the pain cuts deep
All hope seems lost with heartache your closest friend
And everyone else long gone
You've had to face the music on your own
But there is a sweeter song that calls you home, saying.

You're not alone for I am here
Let me wipe away your every fear
My love, I've never left your side
I have seen you through the darkest night
And I'm the One who's loved you all your life
All your life


(Buries head under pillow.. And can now sleep soundly)
:)

~Anonymous~

Or not..

Forget everything else I said.
But don't forget..

You're not alone..