Hang In There!

As I sit here sipping my coffee, my mind is still clouded with chains upon chains of thoughts.I still feel like I need a long, fuzzy hug. But I'm glad that today is better than yesterday and the day before and the whole of my past week if I may be honest. It's better because my heart is less heavy, and I am slowly starting to see some light. That's why Sundays will forever remain my favorite day of the week.
I woke up late today, moody but I just dolled up to go to church because it's a norm. I was still lost in thought, all through the way to church. I still wonder how I drove all the way without badly hitting the potholes along the way (ofcourse the Lord was with me and I thank Him so much for that). I prayed for the first time in days, because I was required to go to the pulpit and lead the congregation in Praise and Worship. At that moment, if I may be honest, I really wished I could escape that role (not forgetting, this is a calling, a great role God has completely set me apart for)

Now, before I even proceed.
I'm sharing this with you so that we can learn together, because I know for sure that everything else I will say after this shall change a life today or someday.
I take you back to my blog description. God has called me to minister through my life. And sometimes it just costs me a bit of my privacy. All in all, I don't mind because I know a life shall be transformed or blessed.. :)

So.....
Back to today's service. Let me just say, God is able. He is so awesome. He filled voids in my heart. He revived some dead parts within me. And he brought me back to the sane and optimistic way of thinking. I was about to break out in laughter when I was called to lead the congregation in intercession. "Of all days to say a lengthy prayer?! before everyone?! really God?!" It was just so funny.. I really didn't have the right words to say in prayer to this great God that I hadn't spoken to in days.
But guess what?
Yes, you guessed right. I did it and did it well. And as others found healing (I believe), through the prayer I made, I found great healing even the more.

Our theme read, :"God Cares For The Marginalized Lot". The readings......
Psalms 146:
Verse 3 hit me with so heavy a blow right in my face.
"Do not put your trust in mortal men, who cannot save. When their spirits depart, they return to the ground; on that very day, their plans come to nothing."
Beloved, please, let the lead voice in your life be the voice of God. One of the reasons why I have been so confused and lost for the past couple of days is because so many human voices have been speaking into my life, that I became so overwhelmed, I couldn't take in any more. At some point, I really didn't want to hear anything in the name of advice.
It's not a good place to be. Because you lose control over your life, you end up having other people on the driver's seat of your life. And by the time you realise all this, unfortunately, the pieces may not be all that easy to pick up.
The worst thing I did to myself, is that I didn't get down on my knees and get to understand God's will soon after I realised what had been happening with me. Well, I was so empty, for many other reasons, but that's still not justifiable.
A classmate in high school once told me, "when the world knocks you down, you are in the best position to pray." If you take it literally like I did, when you are knocked down, you are likely to fall on your knees, yeah? Do join the rest of the dots..... :)
Kindly read the rest of Psalms 146 at your own time. And be blessed like I was:)
(I would put it up for you but it's going to make this blogpost seem so long and someone somewhere will just lose interest in reading.. Hehe #truth)

Wait..
Does God really speak to people?
Yes, He does..
I'll put up a post on this some time soon.. :)

1 Kings 17:7-24:
Here is a widow in Zarephath, desolate, possibly literally marginalized because of her status and she was at her wits end, she had given up. This is another "God, really?!"  moment because of all people in Zarephath, God sends Elijah to this poor widow for food. A poor widow who was collecting firewood to cook the last meal for herself and her son and then die, because she had NOTHING else. Please take your Bible and see, she said it for real.
(Just like He did with me today, God can use you even on you 'empty' days. You remain His vessel.)
And then Elijah still insists on being served with bread.. Hehe..This woman was oh too graceful. She believed as Elijah had told her ("the jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the Lord gives rain on the land") Crazy faith!
My dear, WALK BY FAITH NOT BY SIGHT. Need I repeat that? Because I really won't mind..
(2 Cor 5:7)
It's sad that for some time now, I've been living on what I see, and I put all what I believe behind me. I thank God He reminded me all these today. I was heading for a fall.
Are you feeling me tonight?
Walk by FAITH beloved..

Galatians 1:11-24
I'll come back to this on a later post:)
But you can read it on your own..

Luke 7:11-17:
Another widow, who has just lost her son:(
The Bible says, Jesus saw her, his heart went out to her and he said, "Don't cry". His heart goes out for you..
Through my rugged week, at some point I felt so lonely, because I desired some love, attention and affection from specific people but I think I was probably asking for too much. Emotions were on the rise, clearly. I needed to vent.
I can tell you for free, there's no better place to vent than down at the feet of Jesus.Not everyone's heart will go out for you simply because people have their own lives to live. Listen to His calm and gentle voice telling you, "Don't Cry". I know you feel loved. I know you feel cared for.
There, you are at the right place. :)
Oops, I just slid off topic for a moment there.. Sliding back..
God can bring back to life the dead parts in your life when you just let go and let Him be God. This includes your faith.
Because honestly, we are human beings. We have limits. We fall weak and vulnerable from time to time. We get angry. We are tempted to give up. We speak with so much pessimism. We even don't feel like God understands us anymore.. etc..
God knows all these.
And He is always ready and willing to come through for us when we reach out to Him.
In Him, we find complete healing.

Jeremiah 33:3
‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’

I hope you feel more human now just in case you didn't. Because feeling low is just but normal.
I hope all what I have shared has helped you view your circumstances in a whole new dimension.
I hope you realize that in His presence, there is fullness of joy.

Feeling better?
I hope..

If you're not too tired of reading, please read my next post.
I promise it's short. :)

I love you.
Please smile.
(if you ain't already)

:)

Love,
Laura.