DENY Myself, Take Up The CROSS, FOLLOW Him.

Hi there beloved. :)
You're going to love this one..

We are on Matthew Chapter 16:
24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?

Everytime I come across these verses, or I hear someone mention them, I get this feeling in my heart. That feeling you get when you are so much in the spirit, you know. Or when you read a verse that you resonate well with.
But today, a deeper understanding was planted in my heart.

Much emphasis will go to verse 24.
Discipleship (going after Jesus) calls for three things, one: self-denial, two: cross-bearing, three: loyal obedience.
Going after Jesus is in His terms, not ours.
That's why He says, "if anyone...."


°Deny Yourself.
That to go after Christ, I have to deny myself? Hmm.. to mean what exactly?
That I should fast every once in a while? That I should sacrifice my leisure time to do His work? Well,that could work too..but here is the thing.
Denying yourself, means, to completely disown.. utterly separate yourself from yourself.
Huh? What did I just say....
That it's ALL about Him.
(Let me use an example I very much relate with..)
That when you go up on stage to perform your song, or spoken word piece, or present any kind of artwork with the message of Christ in it, it is ALL about the Father and NOTHING about you. NOTHING about who you are, what kind of background you trace back to, what brand of clothes you are in, or the number of fans who will scream your name.
How amazing it would be, if they would scream and shout, "Jesus!" "Lord You are Mighty!".. And not "Laura! Gurl, you are so talented!"
Don't you think?!

Jesus proclaimed that the first requirement for entering the kingdom is to be “poor in spirit” (Matthew 5:3 ), to have the spirit of utter poverty in regard to one’s own goodness, righteousness, worth, and merit. It is to humbly recognize one’s spiritual destitution.
It is only the person who realizes how poor he is who will ever know the riches of Christ. It is only the person who realizes how sinful and damned he is who will ever come to know how precious the forgiveness of God is.
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalms 34:18 ).
It is the broken and contrite heart that God loves and will never despise (Psalms 51:17 ).
It is not the self-righteous and self-satisfied but the penitent and humble whom God saves.
It was not the proud Pharisee who had such a high image of himself, but the brokenhearted tax collector who asked God for mercy, who Jesus said “went down to his house justified” (Luke 18:14 ).

Oh Lord help us to always keep this in mind..


“Growth in grace is growth downward; it is the forming of a lower estimate of ourselves; it is a deepening realization of our nothingness; it is a heartfelt recognition that we are not worthy of the least of God’s mercies.”
~Arthur Pink


°Take Up The Cross.
To take up one’s cross is simply to be willing to pay any price for Christ’s sake. It is the willingness to endure shame, embarrassment, reproach, rejection, persecution, and even martyrdom for His sake.

I was listening to a radio show a while before the inspiration to post this landed so heavily in my heart. And the lady was saying that, the cross is heavy to bear. Taking it literally, in whichever position you place it, it will remain difficult to carry.
Sometimes studying the word actually requires literal reasoning. Only until we take it literally will we realize the weight of the message.

The walk of salvation is not an easy one. Speaking for myself, at a time and age where 19-year olds like me would rather be in a club or at a 'weed' joint, being a staunch Christian is difficult. Friends desert you. The world mocks you. Mean words are hurled at you. More often than not, people misunderstand you.. I could go on and on.

Beloved, all these struggles are part of taking up the cross. This idea has profound meaning which must be understood. Taking up one’s cross is not some mystical level of selfless “deeper spiritual life” that only the religious elite can hope to achieve. Nor is it the common trials and hardships that all persons experience sometime in life like a sick relative, or betrayal by your better half.

Needless to say, if you haven't or aren't facing any of this, you are probably not taking up the cross rightfully. (Ahem.. Living a 50/50 kinda life?I might be hinting at you)
Sorry, sometimes ministry takes stepping on someone's toes.

During Jesus' time, a cross was an instrument of execution. Hence, part of following Christ is like carrying the very beam on which you will hang.
You will be hung from time to time. But hang in there.
It's a journey worth taking.

°Follow Him.
It's simple.
1 John 2:6 says..
“The one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked”

When you look up to someone, you desire and actually strive to be like them. When you follow someone..you can't afford to walk in a manner less than that which they walk in.
Remember,
“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven,” Jesus declared; “but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 7:21 ).

To continue in His Word is to be His true disciple. See John 8:31.

Wow.
Amazing, eh?

Let's completely deny ourselves, take up the cross and follow Him.
Our reward awaits us in heaven:)

I will cling to the old rugged cross, and exchange it someday for a crown:)
Love,
Laura.

Random #3

Laura Story says in her song, 'Blessings'

"We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise..

Does this spark up something lovely in your heart?
I believe so..

My God is awesome, He can move mountains
Keep me in the valley, hide me from the rain
My God is awesome, heals me when I'm broken
Strengthens where I've been weakened, forever He will reign

Our God is awesome..
Unfathomably awesome!

Hang In There!

As I sit here sipping my coffee, my mind is still clouded with chains upon chains of thoughts.I still feel like I need a long, fuzzy hug. But I'm glad that today is better than yesterday and the day before and the whole of my past week if I may be honest. It's better because my heart is less heavy, and I am slowly starting to see some light. That's why Sundays will forever remain my favorite day of the week.
I woke up late today, moody but I just dolled up to go to church because it's a norm. I was still lost in thought, all through the way to church. I still wonder how I drove all the way without badly hitting the potholes along the way (ofcourse the Lord was with me and I thank Him so much for that). I prayed for the first time in days, because I was required to go to the pulpit and lead the congregation in Praise and Worship. At that moment, if I may be honest, I really wished I could escape that role (not forgetting, this is a calling, a great role God has completely set me apart for)

Now, before I even proceed.
I'm sharing this with you so that we can learn together, because I know for sure that everything else I will say after this shall change a life today or someday.
I take you back to my blog description. God has called me to minister through my life. And sometimes it just costs me a bit of my privacy. All in all, I don't mind because I know a life shall be transformed or blessed.. :)

So.....
Back to today's service. Let me just say, God is able. He is so awesome. He filled voids in my heart. He revived some dead parts within me. And he brought me back to the sane and optimistic way of thinking. I was about to break out in laughter when I was called to lead the congregation in intercession. "Of all days to say a lengthy prayer?! before everyone?! really God?!" It was just so funny.. I really didn't have the right words to say in prayer to this great God that I hadn't spoken to in days.
But guess what?
Yes, you guessed right. I did it and did it well. And as others found healing (I believe), through the prayer I made, I found great healing even the more.

Our theme read, :"God Cares For The Marginalized Lot". The readings......
Psalms 146:
Verse 3 hit me with so heavy a blow right in my face.
"Do not put your trust in mortal men, who cannot save. When their spirits depart, they return to the ground; on that very day, their plans come to nothing."
Beloved, please, let the lead voice in your life be the voice of God. One of the reasons why I have been so confused and lost for the past couple of days is because so many human voices have been speaking into my life, that I became so overwhelmed, I couldn't take in any more. At some point, I really didn't want to hear anything in the name of advice.
It's not a good place to be. Because you lose control over your life, you end up having other people on the driver's seat of your life. And by the time you realise all this, unfortunately, the pieces may not be all that easy to pick up.
The worst thing I did to myself, is that I didn't get down on my knees and get to understand God's will soon after I realised what had been happening with me. Well, I was so empty, for many other reasons, but that's still not justifiable.
A classmate in high school once told me, "when the world knocks you down, you are in the best position to pray." If you take it literally like I did, when you are knocked down, you are likely to fall on your knees, yeah? Do join the rest of the dots..... :)
Kindly read the rest of Psalms 146 at your own time. And be blessed like I was:)
(I would put it up for you but it's going to make this blogpost seem so long and someone somewhere will just lose interest in reading.. Hehe #truth)

Wait..
Does God really speak to people?
Yes, He does..
I'll put up a post on this some time soon.. :)

1 Kings 17:7-24:
Here is a widow in Zarephath, desolate, possibly literally marginalized because of her status and she was at her wits end, she had given up. This is another "God, really?!"  moment because of all people in Zarephath, God sends Elijah to this poor widow for food. A poor widow who was collecting firewood to cook the last meal for herself and her son and then die, because she had NOTHING else. Please take your Bible and see, she said it for real.
(Just like He did with me today, God can use you even on you 'empty' days. You remain His vessel.)
And then Elijah still insists on being served with bread.. Hehe..This woman was oh too graceful. She believed as Elijah had told her ("the jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the Lord gives rain on the land") Crazy faith!
My dear, WALK BY FAITH NOT BY SIGHT. Need I repeat that? Because I really won't mind..
(2 Cor 5:7)
It's sad that for some time now, I've been living on what I see, and I put all what I believe behind me. I thank God He reminded me all these today. I was heading for a fall.
Are you feeling me tonight?
Walk by FAITH beloved..

Galatians 1:11-24
I'll come back to this on a later post:)
But you can read it on your own..

Luke 7:11-17:
Another widow, who has just lost her son:(
The Bible says, Jesus saw her, his heart went out to her and he said, "Don't cry". His heart goes out for you..
Through my rugged week, at some point I felt so lonely, because I desired some love, attention and affection from specific people but I think I was probably asking for too much. Emotions were on the rise, clearly. I needed to vent.
I can tell you for free, there's no better place to vent than down at the feet of Jesus.Not everyone's heart will go out for you simply because people have their own lives to live. Listen to His calm and gentle voice telling you, "Don't Cry". I know you feel loved. I know you feel cared for.
There, you are at the right place. :)
Oops, I just slid off topic for a moment there.. Sliding back..
God can bring back to life the dead parts in your life when you just let go and let Him be God. This includes your faith.
Because honestly, we are human beings. We have limits. We fall weak and vulnerable from time to time. We get angry. We are tempted to give up. We speak with so much pessimism. We even don't feel like God understands us anymore.. etc..
God knows all these.
And He is always ready and willing to come through for us when we reach out to Him.
In Him, we find complete healing.

Jeremiah 33:3
‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’

I hope you feel more human now just in case you didn't. Because feeling low is just but normal.
I hope all what I have shared has helped you view your circumstances in a whole new dimension.
I hope you realize that in His presence, there is fullness of joy.

Feeling better?
I hope..

If you're not too tired of reading, please read my next post.
I promise it's short. :)

I love you.
Please smile.
(if you ain't already)

:)

Love,
Laura.

A Birthday Message:)

It's the 12th of June:)
My day:) :)
I'm joyful and greatful to God that I have seen yet another year.
Life is a blessing.

I am quite sleepy but I didn't want this day to end before I write this birthday message to you:)
Assume there is no irony in this case.. Lol..

Okay, here you go beloved..

1.Psalms 118:24 : "This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.
This is the verse I wake up to every morning.The moment I open my eyes, I acknowledge that I am blessed to see yet another day, fresh in the eyes of the sun and every being on earth. I know that God has allowed me to see the day so that I can accomplish something. I will rejoice. Because every single minute of my day, is in His thoughts and plan. In joy and peril, I will rejoice. I will be glad. So, it's your birthday (Or not.. Pun intended.. Lol) Rejoice. And start the day on your knees. Begin a new chapter in your life with Him on the driver's seat.

2. Psalms 139:16b : “All the days ordained for me were written in Your book
before one of them came to be.”
Our omniscient God knows the end from the beginning, and vice versa. Throughout the Bible, God’s all-knowing wisdom is demonstrated and celebrated.
In this popular psalm, filled with super self-image affirmation, King David recognizes the Lord’s daily and active involvement in his own life. He understands that God holds each of his days within His power and grace.
Please do too:)
You are so loved.

It gets better..

3. God Sings Over You
Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.”
Your Mum sang with joy when she gave you life successfully. But she wasn't alone. The Almighty was singing too.. With 'loud singing'! How exciting?!I love the line,'He will quiet you with his love'.. It gives me so much peace.
On your special day, remember this:)

4. Your Birth was Appointed by God
Psalm 139:16 “Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”
God saw every part of you before you were born. He has it all in the book, your days from the very beginning, your every experience. He knew you would exist and what would become of you. As I like to say, let Him take hold of the pen in your life and orchestrate your every story even as you begin your new year.
:)

5.Wonderfully and Fearfully Made
Psalm 139: “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.”
This is just the most amazing verse on one of those dark days when insecurities creep in, because they do, we are human.
You were secretly knitted together by God in your mother’s womb. He knew what He was doing too. The way a human life is formed is too incredible to describe but even in your mother’s womb, you were “not hidden from” God’s eyes. He made you in the secret, inner most parts of your mother. So amazing, I tell you.

6. The Potter and the Clay
Ephesians 2:10 “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
God prepared beforehand, every single detail of your life. You are created for good works and you should walk in them. So, this is to hint that if you are not walking in His ways then you should find your way back on track. Before you were even born, God prepared ahead of time good works for you to do for his glory. Now, find that purpose and fulfill it for His glory.

In conclusion,
Before sleep takes me...
Every Christian has two birthdays…one of their natural birth and the other on the day that they were born again because “unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God” (John 3:3). If you are born again then you’ll die only once but if you’re born only once, then you’ll die twice. One will be a natural death and then the second death (Rev 21:8) will be in the lake of fire (Rev 20:11-15). I plead with you, if you are not born again, to repent today and place your trust in the Savior. Confess your sins and ask for forgiveness and He will take ever sin away (1 John 1:9) and then God will see you just as He sees His own Son, Jesus Christ (2 Cor 5:21).

Happy Birthday to me. 😊
I am so grateful for this day.
I hope you like my birthday message to you.
I do love you very much.

Blessings!

Love,
Laura.

Random #2.

Staring at my phone.. Hoping someone could text me and ask me how I am.
It's easy to say "I'm okay".. And add a smiley face.. :)
Sigh.. If only they knew..

:(

How could God let this happen to me?

I never thought I would ask this question.. For so long, I lived the almost perfect kind of life.When sorrows would only last for the night and joy came in the morning. Literally.

Hehe..

I never thought I'd feel this lonely.
Lol.. I'm finding a new hood in solitude.
I never thought I'd really feel this confused and lost for options.
What to do?
Who to talk to?
These among many other questions keep running through my mind..

They say happiness is a choice.
Is it really?
Because if it was, then I would press the happiness button, and everything around me would change..
Haha.. (insert sarcasm).. Truly, some things are easier uttered than put into practise.

Oh wait.. These are just circumstances.
Scratch that.
Let's just assume I didn't just sound so pessimistic for a moment there..

You probably won't feel me on this vibe.. Or better yet, you probably will.
(There is some sort of comfort and relief in knowing that you ain't alone)
You feel like you can't talk to anyone?
Because you are aware of what they are going through on the other end of the line and it's probably worse..? Or because to them it'll sound like every other random problem, and they will take you round and round, leaving you with no solution..?
I know!... Or because you are afraid to sound fussy and nagging..?
Sigh..
My veins could burst within my head right now..

I'm just too human to think like God..
Not now especially..

:(

All I know is..
For sure..

I just need some heaven.

Just chill right there..
There seems to be some sort of interruption.......
❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄

"My Child..
I can read your thoughts.

You know what?
I understand your every feeling.
And yes, sometimes I let these things happen to you so that you can learn.. Other times so that other people can witness my glory and power through you.
I have my reasons.
I have my ways.

Two things:
One:..... I have given you seven fruits of the Holy Spirit. One of them includes joy. You've got to keep in mind that the devil is not happy when things are going well for you. Listen. He is not after your finances, your family, your job, your studies.... he is after your Joy. Don't let him take it away. He feels completely defeated when he realises that he cannot take away your joy.

Two:... Be still and know that I am God. I know the plans I have for you and my promises are true. Would you please just let me be God? Be still..

I know you weren't really talking to me.
But I am everywhere.
And I care about you.

Let me wipe away your every tear.
My love will carry you.

~GOD.

❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄

Are you still reading?
I'm tempted to get back to my senses now..
He is quite brief, yet so clear.

I choose to listen to that still, small voice.

Earth is not our home.
Our home is being made ready for us.
And the time will come.

I'm still a Christian.. But I just figured how human I can be..

He is actually here with me..
What more do I need?

As Meredith puts it in song:

I searched for love when the night came and it closed in
I was alone, but You found me where I was hiding
And now I'll never ever be the same
It was the sweetest voice that called my name..

You cry yourself to sleep
Cause the hurt is real and the pain cuts deep
All hope seems lost with heartache your closest friend
And everyone else long gone
You've had to face the music on your own
But there is a sweeter song that calls you home, saying.

You're not alone for I am here
Let me wipe away your every fear
My love, I've never left your side
I have seen you through the darkest night
And I'm the One who's loved you all your life
All your life


(Buries head under pillow.. And can now sleep soundly)
:)

~Anonymous~

Or not..

Forget everything else I said.
But don't forget..

You're not alone..

Write It Down..

Habakkuk 2:2 And the LORD answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain on tables, that he may run that reads it.
Habakkuk 2:3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.

Time and time again we make promises, set goals, etc. Some we keep/achieve, others we don't. Spoken words are easily forgotten, but what is written can always be revisited.

Analysis is important.
We spend alot time with other people and sometimes forget that our happiness and fulfillment of our desired goals, requires isolation.
Reflection, reassessment and self-evaluation are best implemented during times of solitude.

Once a week, in the middle of the year, at every end or beginning of something of a certain chain of events........
Meditate.

Where am I right now?
Is this where I should be?
What have I achieved so far/from this?
How have I failed?
Way forward?
...........

It helps, to forge ahead stronger.

When an eagle is old enough and about to die, it sets off to a far away place in the rocks. There, it plucks of all its feathers, one after another, until it is bare and scrapes its beak over a rough surface until it is very blunt. It stays there until all its feathers grow all over again and its beak grows back too.
It's a time of restrategizing for the Eagle.
At times we need to shed off old habits or setbacks so that we are able to move forward with our lives as it should be.

Jesus too, if you notice, set off to a place away from other people to pray.He could have done it in the presence of his disciples or his audience, but in solitude, he could connect better with his Father and with his inmost being.

I found this quite a timely piece to write, this being the 1st of June - the middle of the year.
I hope you will find such a time today or some time soon. And once you have done your analysis, do pray about all your plans. Trust the Lord with your future. Seek God's guidance, for He is before all things and in Him all things hold together.

Go on, write it down:)

Love,
Laura.